#22: No Congratulations

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

I found out this odd little piece of wedding etiquette a few weeks ago from our friends who just got engaged. I wonder if you've already heard it. According to tradition when a couple get engaged and married its only proper to congratulate the fella and not the girl in question. Instead you should just give her your best wishes. It's to avoid sounding like you didn't expect her to get such a nice chap, on the other hand you can congratulate him on catching such a sweet lady.

What do you think? I don't think I could hold in any congratulations to our friends male or female!

#21: Flowers, Flowers, Flowers

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Amanda from Amanda Refoy Flowers sent us this amazing set of tips about choosing your florist and flowers. Enjoy! 

Congratulations!! Your getting married......now the hard work begins

Choices , choices, choices, where to start huh? well here are a few tips on what to look for in your florist for your big day.

1) Visit your florist in their natural habitat....whether that be in their shop or at a wedding fair, it is important to see how comfortable you feel in their presence, if your on the same page and the right wavelength.

2) Ask to see examples of their work, this can be from their portfolio or a physical example that they have made especially to show you their, style and capability 

3) See what they can suggest....a good florist worth her scissors should be able to take you on a floral journey to excite you with their ideas and abilities - a good consultation is made up of input from you the bride and your floral designer in equal measure although sometimes we do have to steer the flower ship back on course if you know what i mean as we all get carried away sometimes.

4) be realistic...on design and most importantly on costing's. A wedding flower package including bridal party, 6 bridesmaids, church flowers and venue decoration WILL cost more than £200 - surprising i know!!??!!

5) Be open to experience- you are dealing with a professional, who has probably worked on a few weddings in their time - you are going there because you want a great job done with your flowers, trust them to exceed your expectations.

6)Recommendation!!! Ask around friends, family, lady on the bus - anyone who has been to a wedding recently if they can recommend anyone to do wedding flowers? Recommendation is the most powerful marketing tool and for a good florist its the best form of advertising and its FREE!!! We have around a third of our bookings now through recommendation which we feel as a business is a fantastic achievement.

So that's it basically, not so much a flower battlefield more like a walk in a park surrounded by beautiful flowers.

Good luck you wonderful brides out there and may the stems be with you xx

#20: Be Alone

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Today we've got a tip from Mark of The Big Day Productions. Here's what he said:

"My advice would be to make sure that they get at least 10 minutes to themselves at some point in the day. Especially if the wedding is taking place all under one roof, where the newly weds don't get a nice car journey together. Sometimes the day can go by in a blur so it is important to take a moment and just let it all sink in." 

It's so true! My Mum told us this when we were planning our own wedding and I'm so glad she did. 

If you're looking for a videographer for your wedding, why not have a look at some of Mark's work here. We'd really recommend him- he was a pleasure to work with.

Thanks for your contribution Mark. 

#19: Clear the Top Table

We're off to a wedding in the morning, so here's a little tip that doesn't need any extra preparations...

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

By the time you've finished your meal there will quite likely be a lot of "stuff" on the top table: used napkins, discarded bouquets, empty glasses, water jugs, gifts, handbags... all sorts. It's worth asking your venue to clear the empties before the speeches start. Move other personal items behind the table, so that the floral arrangement and beautiful details can stand out for the pictures. 

#18: Order a Spare

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

If you spent any time picking out a beautiful, coordinating arrangement for the grooms buttonhole you'll want it to be captured in your photographs. Usually there's a lot of hugging in the time between the ceremony and the formal group photos and the buttonaire doesn't always survive well. 

A few solutions: 

-choose a robust flower and arrangement

-have a spare copy of the grooms button hole

-if all else fails borrow one of the groomsmens'! 

Malc's beautiful orchid had lost on of its petals by the time we got to our photos in the park! Ask your florist if they can chuck in a spare for free- it's worth a try.

#17: Have no regrets

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Listen up then lovely nearly-weds because this is my absolutely most important tip.

At some point near the end of the day take a moment to catch how you're feeling. Over-joyed, blissed-out and perfectly happy. And choose to come back to that feeling whenever you reflect on the day. Whenever some someone asks you what you'd change if you did it all again choose not to have an answer. Because things were as they were, and you loved them. Because your wedding captured both of you, your families and your friends as you were at that moment.

#16: Say your vows (quietly)

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

At the rehearsal the Bride (and sometimes the Groom) is worried about being able to speak their vows loudly enough. But to put you at ease just focus on saying them to each other. In legal terms your words only need to be heard by each other, your witness and occasionally a registrar. So don't let your volume be something to worry about.

#15: Group photos can be really dull

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

It's probably everyone worst bit of a wedding, huddled around in the cold waiting to be lined up with a frozen smile and snapped as a group. But for some relatives in particular its an essential for the mantle piece. 

Some tips: 

-Less is more and more is less! Less photos is definitely easier on your cheek muscles and the main way to reduce the number of photos on the list is to increase the number of people in each group. 

- Do the large groups which require several people and the bride and groom in this time slot. But for other groups such as the bride with her girls make a separate list for your photographer to gather throughout the evening, which will make things a lot more relaxed. 

- Aim for fun and relaxed photos (you'll prefer to look at those ones)

-Don't expect to walk straight out of your ceremony into group shots, people will want to stop you to compliment the dress and you'll be desperate to chat to the friends you spotted as you walked down the aisle. Make some time for mingling.

-If there's any length of journey between the ceremony and the location for groups shots then expect a delay as guests take the wrong route, pop to the shop or check into their hotel! 

- Choose a place for group shots that is near to where your guests will be congregated- having to run inside and upstairs to get guests who are at the bar will cause frustrating delays.

-Think through a wet weather location in advance- it will save you a panic on the day.

-Also know that there are always guests who will refuse to walk on grass in their heals.

-Talk through your list with your photographer to arrange the numbers so that they build people in and out of the groups in a logical way. Particularly avoid moving elderly family members in and out of the scene too much.

-Consider putting the shot list up somewhere so everyone knows the plan. And be sure to nominate a couple of helpful friends to gather the up coming groups.

Obviously if someones going to be offended by missing out one of your groups then don't miss it out! It wont take that long, and its better than regretting it later. You could even split your list of shots between your venues so that you get a bit of a break.

Wow, that went on a fair bit longer than I'd anticipated... obviously hit a photographer's nerve!

#14: Your officiant will guide you through

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Understandably you're nervous about the ceremony- it's a big deal. But there's no need to worry about where to stand, what to say or when to say it. The officiant at your ceremony will be in charge of making sure that you move, say and do what you should at the right time. Your job is to turn up and mean it. If you get it wrong they'll make sure you say it again or prompt you to guide you through.

#13: Make the most of your guests

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of our wedding was having all the people we loved gathering together in one place. That's where this tip comes from. Often loads of your favourite people will travel miles to be with you on a day when you'll largely be quite busy trying to see so many people that you don't get to properly hang out with any of them. 

So I'd say try and plan in times to hang out in the days around the wedding. Get people together to help do any last minute Order of Service folding, or setting up decorations at the reception. They'll love being involved

It might take some planning to be ready enough to be able to stop for the evening before the wedding, but a rehearsal meal type gathering is a good time to enjoy the company of great friends instead of rushing around stressing. Let them tell you how excited they are.

And the morning after the wedding getting together for a late breakfast is great fun. Inspect each others dancing blisters and share the stories from the day before. 

#12: Change things

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Recently a Bride (who I wont name here- so she can 'fess up to her mum herself!) wasn't quite happy with how her bouquet had turned out from the florist. There was some foliage she hadn't planned on including- so we got some scissors and chopped a few sprigs out. Didn't make a huge difference, I dont think anyone noticed... but you bet she'd have been bugged by it looking back at her photos for years to come.

In the same ilk if something isn't how you wanted it then ask to have it changed. Bare in mind though how much effort it will take to change it, and how much time is available- no bridezillaing needed!

#11: Say "Goodbye!"

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Its been a long emotional day and their baby daughter has just flown the nest. It's no wonder the parents often end up in tears at the end of the night. One thing that really helps: make sure you say a really good goodbye. Take time to talk to both sets of parents before the announcement is made that you're leaving (and you get swamped by other guests). 

There are loads of other fun ways to say goodbye to everyone, we've seen plenty of tunnels, confetti, sparklers even special dances which allow you to greet each of your guests.

#10: Cut your Cake

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

To add to our tip on flaunting your cake, here are a few notes on how to cut it...

Just do it! Stop worrying about how to line up your hands to hold the knife perfectly and just get on with it. Put an arm round each other, that will leave less hands to find knife space for.

Cut the cake at an angle to your audience: not as far round as being side on, but not hiding behind it either.

Move any nearby candles. We learnt this at our own wedding- the surrounding tea lights were pretty hot.

Eat a slice, feed each other a slice or hand some out to your guests. It doesn't matter what you do but don't just stand there looking a bit lost or leave the knife in the cake- it just looks a bit sinister!

Enjoy! (and share some with Nom, she's addicted to the icing)

#9: Flaunt your Cake

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Give your cake pride of place. Displaying it during the afternoon while you're eating your wedding breakfast will not only give everyone to have a good look and get their mouths watering, it will also mean its in a good position when it comes to cutting it later.

If you asked the person who crafted your cake they usually say they cake should be away from the window and out of a draught. The photographer will want it in a well light area, free from signs in the background. Its good to have plenty of space for all your friends to get round you and take their own pictures too!

As far as Malc's concerned, cutting the cake is a bit of a bizarre thing to do. Why do we get everyone to gather round as we pretend to cut a cake? Why do we try to do it together and pause to kiss for the cameras? He reckons if you're going to do it you should go right on and cut the whole thing up in to pieces for your guests to eat!

Where does the tradition come from? Apparently Roman grooms used to smash the cake over the bride's head to symbolise her virginity. But the idea of sharing out bits of the cake goes back to a tradition of passing crumbs of cake through the bride's wedding ring as a symbolic gift of fertility. Well... now you know.

#8: Throw Confetti

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

It's the only day in your life you can get away with being showered with love in the form of confetti- so get on with it. Get everyone involved, especially the aunties and old ladies they're always the most keen. 

Other things you can only really get away with on your wedding day: 

-the big white dress

-choosing who's in your team (your bridesmaids and ushers, and your other supporters and suppliers)

-choosing a guest list of everyone you want

-the menu

#6: Little Ones

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

Having some of the smaller members of your family involved in your ceremony can be a very sweet and personal touch. But try not to stress about them performing perfectly- there's very little they can do that would actually ruin your day. To keep things in perspective: 

- allow them to practise, but don't stress out about timings

- try to encourage the adults not to make too big a deal of it (this way they wont know there's anything to be nervous of).

-having a special job, like sprinkling flowers, can be a good thing to focus on and feel important.

-go with the flow! If a ring bearer ducks out at the last minute it wont matter. 

One of the cutest flower girls we saw this year didn't want to let go of her Daddy's hand, so he walked down the aisle with her. It wasn't planned, but it was very sweet.

#5: Mr & Mrs

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

A quirky piece of wedding themed etiquette: salt and pepper are considered a married couple! And as such should always be passed up and down the table as a pair. Especially romantic to remember this at a wedding.

#7: Make space

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

If you want beautiful, bright fresh photos of you getting ready in the morning then put a little bit of thought into where you'll get ready. If possible get dressed in a room that is more than big enough for you, the big white dress and anyone you want around to help. Consider space for the photographer and the amount of light available. Removing unnecessary clutter is a good idea too!

This also applies to the rest of the day, though you might have less control over what goes where. Think through what clutter can be removed and what's around the key areas you'll be having photos. Are there ugly signs or posters in the ceremony venue that could be removed or hidden? Keep the top table uncluttered particularly of tall bottles or flowers which could obscure faces during the speeches. 

#4: Don't be Shy

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

You've just got married for goodness sake, you're wedding is the one day where you should drop your usually strict ban on PDAs and show how much you're in love. Holding hands, kissing, whispering and giggling all strongly recommended.

#3: Flexible Friends

Even the cake was in tiers is our series tips for weddings. The title comes from an overused and not so funny wedding speech joke, "It's been an emotional day...". What advice did you wish someone had told you before your wedding? We're collating all the etiquette and expertise here.

There's advice floating around on wedding websites that says you should plan as though 10% of your wedding invitations will be declined. Which probably means you're safe to invite more people than you can seat or afford to pay for. What's less predictable is the number of people who wont make it at the last minute because they're ill or something comes up.

You could spend your last few days of preparations on the phone to your caterer and venue updating them on meal numbers and seating plans, but my advice would be to consider who else you could invite. Sure you might not have known them long, but new friends or colleagues would love an invite and if you'd love them there then why not? It might even be that on the day people turn up for the ceremony without being invited who you're delighted to see. So be flexible, enjoy their company and show them to their seat.

Their name might not be on the table plan, but I don't reckon they'll mind.

There's a clever little trick for working out your table plan on this website.